Becoming Isabella Volturi
by Sting like a butterfly
Summary: Begins in the forest right after Edward disappears. Bella is left confused by what she is told by Esme. She forms a relationship with Jacob and a string of events leads her to come face to face with the monster which appears in her dreams.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter - Bittersweet.

He left me. He told me he didnt wan't me anymore. I started walking in the direction which he headed in. I say walk when in reality I stumbled and fell every step I took ending up with grass stains encasing my clothes in a green blanket.

"Edward! Please. I love you. Edward please!" I tried to call out but it was barely a whisper. For almost the eighteenth time I fell but this time I just couldn't get back up. I couldnt get up I just couldn't. I let the tears overtake me then, I couldn't fight it any longer. I still couldn't get my head round this. It didn't make sence. Nothing was astray and Edward had been his over protective self. But the look on his face before made it very clear he had not intention of being with me forever anymore. I just wanted him to come back now telling me it was a mistake and he'd stay with me forever never leaving my side. Of course that wouldn't happen - he doesn't want me. I don't "belong" in his world. Maybe he is going to come back when I'm so much more older and visit me on my deathbed. He wants me to live a human life and forget him - one theory. I wasn't good enough for him - he needed a vampire. More realistic theory. Either way I'm still lost in this woods. Pitch black. Fucking brilliant. A strong wave of anger suddenly passed through me. I had to go to his former home see if he was hiding there from me. I will find my way there. I pushed myself up off the ground and continued stumbling and tripping but this time I was heading for the Cullen Mansion.

After at least two hours of crying, stumbling and gaining more grass stains on my clothes I arrived at the drive way. To my utter surprise a car was still there - one I hadn't seen before. I felt fear slowly creep into the back of my head. What if it's Victoria? What if she knew they'd gone and I'd come here? For as long as I have known the Cullens I have never once seen this car. I pushed aside the idea that Victoria was here and stepped up to the porch window which looked into the kitchen. It was empty - nothing as there and everything was spotless. I moved my eyes to the wide open front door. The Cullens would never leave their home wide open. I stepped through the door and felt a small smile grace my lips however my heart felt moment was shortened by the sound of a woman sobbing. I walked towards the living room and found a vampire dry sobbing. I took a step back wishing my legs would take me out the front door. They looked up at me. Esme! Esme was still here. Her face lit up like the sun and she was immediately hugging me and stroking my hair. My second mother was still here and still loves me. But. She'll be gone soon like the others. It wasn't until she was wiping my tears away did I realise my eyes were waterfalls. Her eyes wern't liquid honey and they were as black as the night but even now they still showed her motherly love and compassion.

"Bella." She whispered, looking me up and down. "I don't know what to do. Your my daughter and I can't leave you but Carlisle I do love him and the rest of my children. Bella, you must understand. Edward." It burned my mouth a little when she spoke his name. "Does loves you he doesn't want to go he wants to stay here with you and live with you here. Alice is forcing him to go though. She''s forcing all of us. She's seen something that is a danger to you if we were to stay, so we're going but we're not aloud to come back." She paused and looked as if she was in deep thought. "Oh Bella! Bella! I wish ever so much you could come with us dear. I have to leave soon but I must stay in contact with you. I can't loose you." She placed a small silver phone in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it while looking me in the eye. I put the phone in my pocket and sighed. At least I had Esme. She made me feel like everything is going to work out perfectly in the end.

"So Edward does love me?" Were the first words to leave my mouth. I immediately felt guilty and blushed. I'm proud though, my voice didn't break when saying his name. She nodded with a loving smile then she became a blur darting around the house.

I decided to head up to Edward's room. His name still not causing me pain. The stairs had lost the decorations which were symbols of the Cullen history and the photos had been taken with them too. I open the door to his room with my eyes squeezed shut. It was empty. Nothing was here everything was cleared out. His books, CD's and furniture. On a ledge by the window there was picture frame. I walked over and picked it up. In the wooden frame was a photo of Edward and I grinning at each other like chesire cats. I set the photo back down and went into his walk in wardrobe. His clothes and been taken with him and replaced with clothes that I have worn, bought for me by Alice. Each rail on both sides were stocked with clothes I had worn and most of them I had never seen. Shoes, bags. Everything a dream shopaholic would want. All in here. But why? Why keep those here?

"Edward couldn't bare to take all of this with him. It would drive him mad with your scent." Esme's voice startled me but she continued talking whilest settling the large empty boxes on the floor. "We're not supposed to come back so him having clothes covered in it wouldn't help him. He took a photo of you and a blue blouse you wore at your first date. I suppose I shouldn't tell you this but I think it will help you. Knowing he loves you back and is in the same position as you dear. Alice would scold me if I didn't give you these clothes to take home. Now Bella, you start packing these clothes and I'll gather some other items that you should need." She flitted out the room and was soon darting around the place. I began at the back being quick yet careful. I couldn't crumple these clothes that are worth more then enough. Esme was right it does help to know he's hurting too, knowing he doesn't like this distance either. I walked back to collect the photo and placed it in the final box then shut the lid.

Esme came in and packed the boxes in the car flitting up and down. Even when moving so fast I couldn't see her, I could tell she was smiling. I made my way to the car outside. Well at closer inspection it was bigger then a Jeep and to me - that was pretty massive. Esme noticed my expression and grinned.

"It's not my car. It's Emmett's dear. I would much rather have something that didn't prefer going offroad. Nether the less, no one will know it's me and that what this is meant to achieve." She stopped and turned to look at the house. She looked heartbroken but smiled. "I built this house from scratch. No other house I have made has felt like a home to me. I don't think I want to say goodbye to Forks completely Bella. This is my home now." She looked down at her shoes before gracefully sliding into the not so elegant car.

"Don't worry dear, I follow the speed limit." Esme reasurred me and pulled out of the drive. The expression on her face looked as if she was in alot of pain. I have never met someone who could compose themselves so quickly. She was the ideal role model for what girls my age should aspire to be - perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect friend. She really was this wonderful woman and now she was reaching out to me, making me like I really was wanted when everyone who I loved had just left. One question however was etching it's self into my head.

"What's going to happen?" Esme sucked in an un needed breath and I felt immediately guilty. Esme sensed this and smiled warmly at me.

"I'm going to Carlisle and we're going to London for a change of scenery. The rest of family will be heading up to Alaska to be with our extended family. Well everyone expect Edward." Her smile was replaced with a sad frown. "He can't be around anyone. He hates Alice now but I hope he forgives her for this. Bella dear. You're going to stay here and finish High School. You'll meet a handsome man and have the wonderful life I have always wished for you. I'll call you every week and visit every so often. If I am able to tell Carlisle that I'm staying in contact with you he will come visit you with me. You can contact me in an emergency. Your family loves you Bella." She smiled warmly then pulled up outside my house. Charlie's cruiser wan't there. "He's at Harry's. I told him you were at our leaving party whilest you packed the clothes away."

She was suddenly not even in the car and flitted in and out of my house putting the boxes inside. I got out of the car but she was done already. I could never get used to the vampire speed and grace. I couldn't hold in the tears any longer and I let them flood my eyes. Esme pulled me in for a motherly hug and began stroking my hair. "Bella. I love you. Please look after yourself. For me. For everyone. Here are the keys to my car. No arguements dear, your truck will break soon so this car has come in handy. Also here are the keys to the house. I want you to live there with your handsome man." She winked and I put the set of keys she had given me in my pocket. She looked me deep in the eyes and I could see the internal debate she was having with herself. She sighed and pulled me in for another hug. "See you soon Bella" She kissed my hair and she was gone. I felt my knees buckle slightly so I locked the car and got into the house as soon as possible before my legs gave way. I'm _okay_. I didn't feel like I was going to break down. I felt... stronger. I felt like even though they're not here I'll always be connected to the Cullens. I headed up to my room deciding to start packing everything away but to my surprise Esme had already hung all the clothes up and placed all the shoes on the shoe rack Alice bought me for my birthday. I looked over to my desk and raised an eyebrow at the new laptop sitting prompt looking out of place on my old wood desk. I noticed there was a sticky note placed on top of it.

Bella.

I thought you would like mine and Jasper's emails.

I've added them to your email address book.

Much love.

I don't understand why she would give me Jasper's email. Why would I want? We were never close because of diet and we tended to keep our distance. I know he felt guilty about what happened at my birthday but it really wasn't his fault. Edward was the one who was stupid enough to throw me into a glass table with glass vases on top of it. Regardless. It was a mistake, and no one should dwell on it. Mistakes are made so we could progress as people. Even vampires, they may be set in their ways but they still learn. No body is perfect. I contemplated that thought for a moment. Vampires at a first glance do look indeed perfect but when your around them for so long you start to see their complexity and their human like qualities. Of course this only applied to the Cullens. I'm sure nomadic vampires like James enjoyed not having human weakness. I looked down at the scar on my wrist and sighed. This will be hard, there is defiantly no denying it but at least Esme and maybe Carlisle. I won't have to miss _all_ my family. There was no pain... yet. I was skeptical of when it would make it's entrance. I noticed the photo of Edward and I had been placed by my bed and another one, one I hadn't put in one of the boxes. It was a photo of the whole family smiling away. These two photos reflected this situation extremely well. It was bittersweet. The keys Esme had given me were now digging into my leg so I put them next to the photo of Edward and I. I took the phone out of my other pocket and noticed I had a message from Esme:

I hope your in bed now Bella. I would hate for you not to get sleep.

Keep safe, I love you. XX

I smiled and placed the phone on my pillow. I remembered that I was encased in grass stains and moss. I felt disgusted so I hopped in the shower. I tied my hair in a bun and put on of the nighties Esme had given me. It was green which was rare. Alice only dressed me in blue. Weird. I shrugged and crawled into bed and before I knew it my body succumbed to sleep.

_"Edward!" I called out in fear. A blonde haired red eyed monster - well vampire was making their way towards me smiling warmly. I kept stepping backwards untill my back was against a wall. I was in some kind of cream marble throne room. I surveyed the people in the room who were wearing cloaks making it very obvious that they were vampires as the light was streaming through the glass roof. I looked around the room and finally found Edward who was reaching out to me but was being held back by two very bulky looking vampires. I screamed his name again which made the red eyed monster growl. He was now face to face with me and his scent was oh so intoxicating. I noticed from the corner of my eye Edward was being ripped limb from limb. I felt the tears spill over my cheeks. The monster looked heartbroken - as if it was brother being killed. Seconds later he had his arms wrapped around my waist and his face buried in my hair._

I jolted up and shook my head. "Fucking hell. That was just pure creepiness." I muttered and fell back asleep.

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><p>Feel free to review, comment and to give suggestions. :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two - Wolf.

Charlie was up prompt at 6am and out the door at seven although he got back at three. It was a saturday and nothing had changed. The rain was beating at the windows and the wind was creating a draft in the living room. I wouldn't change the weather here though. I blended in with my pale skin. I'm pretty sure even if I had tan it would of gone by now. The rain had a soothing effect on me now and most nights it sent me to sleep when Edward wasn't humming me my lullaby. I inwardly grimaced at his name. This was my first day without him and I needed to keep my mind busy. I had no homework and none of the Cullens were here. I sighed. I did't realise untill now that my life revolved around them and it wasn't fair to my other friends... like Jake. Edward was almost _jealous_ of Jake. He hated it when he was anywhere near me and turned up his nose in disgust, like the first day he met me. My blood was like his own personal brand of heroin. I think it worked the other way round, I needed him more. I sighed. I needed to stop thinking like this, it's unhealthy. I sat by the window looking into the forest whilest reading Wuthering Heights - which by now was almost un-useable.

I brought back to reality by the sound of the house phone ringing. I'm hardly the most popular girl in Forks. I was only ever with the Cullens. I picked up the phone and squinted my eyes shut.  
>"Hey Bella it's Jake. You remember me right?" I sighed in relief making him chuckle on the other side of the phone.<br>"Hey Jacob, yeah I do." I had no idea why he was calling me. We met twice. Last time he told me the stories about Edward.  
>"Well I was wondering if you wanted to come to the Rez? Y'know... hangout." Well It seems as if Jacob had a little crush.<br>"Sure, I'll be at yours for two? Is that okay?" I swear I heard him yelp in excitement.  
>"Yeah sure there's no rush Bella. I'll meet you at mine. Do you remember where my house is?"<br>"Erm, yeah sure I do." He chuckled at my unease.  
>"See you later Bella."<br>"Bye Jacob." I put the phone down and ran up to my room. What to wear... what to wear? I yanked my wardrobe open and was greeted by a countless number of dresses. _Alice_. I rummaged through untill I found my favorite green sweater and jeans. Why did I care about what to wear? I guess it's because Jacob is going to be a new friend. I rolled my eyes. How stupid am I? After getting changed and putting my dirty clothes in the laundry basket I decided to asses how I looked. My hair was lifeless as always bit I had no intention of changing it now. Ugh. I grabbed everything I needed and set off for La Push.

I had never anticipated this sence of idependence. I quite liked it. My life didn't revolve around the Cullens anymore. Who am I kidding? I loved having Alice. She was like a little ball of sunshine. I loved Emmett despite when he used to make snide remarks on my clumsiness. Jasper and Rosalie - I didn't get the oppurtunity to become close to either of them. I wish I could of changed Rosalie's mind about me. Carlisle, he already was my second father and he always made me feel welcome right from the very beginning. I still had Esme.. in a way. She already felt as if I was her daughter. But Edward. My sole reason was gone As if he had been whiped of the face of the earth. I couldn't still understand why they all can't contact me. If Esme can speak to me why can't Edward? Unless.. Esme was lying. No. She wouldn't. She was my second mum. She cared for me - regardless.

I pulled up in Jacob's drive and climbed out of the cab. When I slammed the door shut rust seemed to fall from all over the truck. As much as I loved my new car this truck held so many memories which I just didn't want to loose. Jacob smiled warmly and and pulled me into a bear hug. I wrapped my arms around him - well as far as they would go. He had gained some serious mucsle. He let me go and my arms fell limp at my sides. My eyes welled up and tears began dropping to the grass. I had missed a truely comforting hug. Jacob frowned and whiped the tears away. I looked into his eyes and saw the hurt in them. I'm sure as anything they echoed my own right now.

"He left you, didn't he?" He asked softly. I nodded sharply and that was all it took to send him into a deep rage. He picked up the rocks that lined his drive one by one and threw them untill they were dust. "My dad was right. He told me he would hurt you!" He roared. I was too locked into place by bthe pain flowing through my viens to comprehend what he was doing untill a shard of rock flew past my head. Jacob was now shaking and a low growling noise was escaping through his teeth.

I don't know how or why but now Jacob was replaced by a russet wolf. I took a step backwards behind my truck. The russet coloured wolf turned it's back on me and ran into the surrounding forest. I slid down the side of my truck and let my tears over take me. I make people run away from. What is it that repulses them? I'm told Edward still loves me but what if I'm being told a lie? What if I wasn't good enough for him? What if my scent was too much to handle. Now Jake. He's now this some kind of warewolf? What's next? Urgh. I may be good with weird but weird is certainly not good with me. I felt the whole in my chest rip even further into me which brung another wave of hysteria over me. I must of been here for a while because the bale blue sky had been covered with a jet black blanket. I stood up but slumped back down. My knees had become weak from sitting in the same position for two long without moving an inch. I got up slowly and shook my legs out and grimaced at the clicking noises my joints made. I yawned. My body now realising how tired it was slumped forward slightly and my eye lids drooped. I knew Jacob wouldn't come back, he had no reason too. I climbed into my truck and reversed out. I really needed to sort myself out.

When I made my way through the front door I was greeted by Charlie. He crossed his arms and stared at me. He normally doesn't hover.  
>"Where have you been Bella? You could of left me a note." His strong voice cracked towards the end with concern. I sighed<br>"I went to meet Jake." I shrugged and looked down dreading the question he was going to ask next.  
>"I thought Edward didn't like him." I sucked in a cold breath and felt the tears from in my eyes. "Well?"<br>"His family have gone... Carlisle got a new job in New Hampshire." Charlie put his hands on hips and huffed. He was obviously trying to hide his joy at Edward's departure.  
>"Are you two still..." His trailed off. I felt the tears slip over but I kept a straight face - I had to for Charlie.<br>"No. We decided a long distance relationship wouldn't work for us. We're still friends though." I faked a smile for him and went up to my room before he could say anything else. I really didn't want to have a conversation with Charlie. It's hard enough lying to him about something which has been such a big impact in my life. But Charlies like me he doesn't hover or push things, he knows I'll talk to him when when I feel I need to.

My bedroom door was slightly open, this isn't how I left it. It was shut. Charlie must of checked my room to see if I was just sleeping my day away. Now that I thought of it, it sounded more appealing then today's outcome. I pushed it open and found Jacob in just jeans glaring at me. I shuddered but went and sat on my bed. He just stood there. What is his problem? I know I did something wrong but there was no need to do this to me.  
>"Isn't it a bit a bit weird. You turning up, in my room. No shirt or shoes. We've barely had a full blown conversation Jacob." He snorted and I raised an eyebrow.<br>"You call this weird? You're so freaky Bella." We both laughed and he took it an opportunity to sit next to me on the bed. I could feel the heat radiating from his skin.  
>"Warewolf huh? That's pretty.. awesome." I grinned up at him and he rolled his eyes."Well yeah it is! I know why I hate vampires now." I froze at his choice of words. "I'm sorry Bella. If only being a wolf gave me a better memory?" He nudged my arm and winked. I laughed and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Tell me what happened Bella." I shook my head. "You need to talk about it." I huffed and gave up.<p>

"He led me into a forest and told me I didn't belong with him and that I wasn't good enough for him. I followed him untill I got to week. I ended up at his house and Esme - his mum - was there. She told me they had to go because Alice had a vision that danger was to come if they were to stay. Esme gave me her word that she'll keep in contact with me."  
>"Why can't Edward call you then? If she can then so can he." What? Jacob was right. He may not be able to be here but he could still be with me.<br>"I-I-I h-h-aven't considered that." I said in a montotone voice.  
>"Bella, he hasn't considered your feelings. Come here." He pulled me in for an unexpected hug and I sobbed into his chest. "You have school tomorrow right? Well, How bout I pick you up and take you home and we can hang out? Y'know do homework together, typical friend stuff." He grinned and I had to smile. He was giving me a second chance at life. He spent the next hour telling me about his tribes legends and rules until I yawned and got changed before I climbed into bed.<p>

As I woke up something didn't feel right. My stomach was engrossed in sharp pains. I ran to the bathroom and hunched over the toilet. The smell of vomit brought on more waves of neausia. After spending two hours of throwing up whatever was in my stomach Charlie wanted to call the hospital which I freaked out at. He kept telling me he could take the day off but I told him I was just going to sleep it off. He bought it about the fifteenth time and left still not pleased with leaving me here alone. I rolled my eyes him, he normally just leaves it. I guess he's suspicious of me. Ha! I burst out laughing which scorched my dry throat. I'm throwing up in the morning and Edwards gone. He thinks im pregant. It wasn't even possible and Edward and I wern't like _that_. I was more then happy just to hold his hand. I sighed and held my hands together._ I'll never have that with anyone again. _I sat on the couch and stared out the window watching the raindrops race eachother to the windowsill. It's like one moment I'm not bothered hes gone but in the same moment I'll miss everything I had with him. I guess I'm still deciding wether to cling onto the past or to look to the future. I think either one won't do me any good. If I was to cling on.. I would die an early death. If I move on I would feel guilty for letting him go. Sometimes the choices people had to make were invented to question their sanity. The ringing coming from the phone brought me out of my thought track.

"Hey Bella!" A way too excited Jacob boomed down the phone. I had to hold the phone away from my ear.  
>"Hi Jacob." My voice was hoarse which made him chuckle.<br>"I heard some one's ill. Who could it possibly be?" He snickered when I snorted.  
>"Well it's quite obviously me."<br>"You've been throwing up." His voice hardened. Oh, he thinks I'm pregnant too. Great.  
>"Yes."<br>"Why?"  
>"Stomach bug I guess. I haven't given it much thought to be honest."<br>"Did you and Edward..." He sounded slightly jealous. I laughed and he growled in responce. "Bella, just tell me."  
>"Edward and I did not sleep together once Jacob." He sighed. "Not that it's any of your business."<br>"I didn't want you to give birth to a blood sucker." It was my turn to growl.  
>"How very dare you JACOB BLACK!" I snarled down the phone.<br>"Sorry Bella." I smiled at myself for my little victory. "I'm coming round to look after you."  
>"I don't need babysitting."<br>"To hell you don't. Your ill so let me feed you and make sure your okay."  
>"I'm eighteen."<br>"See you in twenty Bella." He ended the call. Little bastard. I put the phone back and went back to my position on the sofa.

"You can't cook Jacob." I smirked as he attempted to make an omlette. He grumbled.  
>"I can, I just don't your way obviously." He retorted.<br>"Oooh, I'm hurt."  
>"Well, you set your self up for it."<br>"No I didn't."  
>"Did." I huffed and sat on the counter. Jacob turned to face me. His brown eyes held some emotions which I honestly didn't want to think about it.<br>"Okay, I did." I winked and he went to the stove to cook my omlette.  
>"Bella, haven't you given any thought to what I asked you last night." I don't remember him asking anything. "About us meeting more."<br>"Oh! I forgot what with being sick and all." He rolled his eyes at my sarcasm and I grinned. "I'd love for us to spend more time together. I've always wanted a pet dog." He turned to glare at me and I just shrugged. "Pay back for the blood sucker comment."  
>"Very clever Bella." He winked and plated up my omlette and hand me the plate and fork which pushing me to the sofa. I sat down and tucked into my food. This actually tasted better then my omlettes. "Told you I'm amazing at cooking." He grinned when I began shuving food in my mouth. "I'm still abit unsure if you should be eating. You threw up four hours ago." I rolled my eyes and handed the fork and plate to him.<p>

Jacob and I settled back into the sofa to watch and a movie. He saw me getting cold so sat me inbetween his legs and wrapped his arms around me. I was slightly uncomfortable at this seating arrangment but it kept me warm. I really thought this boy was the sweetest thing ever though. He's come over whilest I'm ill to keep me company and look after me, despite my refusals. He really cares and I feel as if I've always been like this with him. As if I felt this close to him forever. I've never felt this close to someone after a day of really knowing the true them.  
>"Penny for your thoughts." He whispered into my ear. My eyes darted back to the T.V screen but I didn't answer. "Bella?"<br>"Yes?"  
>"Penny for your thoughts." He repeated and I gulped.<br>"That this film is rubbish" I gave a nervous laugh.  
>"You're a really bad liar did you know that?" I sighed and repositioned myself so I was sat facing him. I looked down and played with my hands. How can I tell him what I was thinking without creeping him out. I don't want him to feel as if I was clinging onto him even if it was true I still didn't want him to think that. I grimaced. It's another one of stupid choices. Piss him off or make him leave altogether. "Whatever it is you can tell me." He stroked my cheek and I looked into his eyes.<br>"I feel.. close to you.. I know, I've only spent two days getting to know you but I feel like we've like this forever. I don't want to loose you Jacob, your giving me a second chance at life. I _need_ you." His reaction took me by surprise. He pulled me into him and ran his fingers through my hair.  
>"Bella, I'm not going anywhere. I need you as much as you need me." His voice wavered with emotion and he held me tighter. I relaxed into him and drifted into sleep with a smile on my face.<p>

_I was running in a dark forest. I knew I was running from something I just couldn't see it. Something attacked from the side and threw me into a tree. I stood straight. It was Jacob in wolf form. He lurched forward taking one step at a time. I looked ay myself in his eyes. My eyes were red and held no emotion. I snarled at him and bit his shoulder then threw him into a tree. What did he think he was doing? I heard a twig snap and whipped my head in the direction of the noise. It was the blonde vampire. I felt very threatened and took a defensive crouch. He walked over to me and pulled me up into a hug and nestled his head into my hair. I pulled away and turned to face Jacob with an evil smirk on my face. I ran to him and began pulling the wolf apart._

I sat up panting and tears streaming down my face. Jacob who was sat on the rocking chair rushed over and began soothing me.  
>"I can't become a vampire." I blurted out. He sat down next to me and held my hands in his.<br>"Bella I know you wouldn't want to be one."  
>"No I mean, if I was to become a vampire, we'd be enemies and we'd fight till one of died." I began sobbing.<br>"That's true, but you don't _have _to be one. You have no reason to be. You have me." He pulled me into a hug and held me tight.  
>"Jacob. Don't go."<br>"I won't." He kissed my hair and laid me back down. "Now sleep. I have to go home to patrol. I'll call you." He kissed my forehead and jumped out my window. I never wanted this little piece of happy to go. Ever.


End file.
